Have you ever noticed how particular attributes or behaviors are ascribed to home educated children even though you may notice the same things in other children? Do you hear these double standards said by adults as well as children?
"It's Because They're Homeschooled." No. Actually, It's Not
While the decision to homeschool might affect your child in many ways, it never ceases to amaze me the amount of people who still believe that kids are shy (or loud. or talkative. or introverted. or…) simply because they’re homeschooled.
You’ve probably dealt with this, too. Let me give you an example from our experiences.
Recently, one of my sons was involved in a group “thing” with a bunch of kids around his age. Apparently his level of participation wasn’t on par, and I was pulled aside for a chat.
“Just keep encouraging him to participate…I want to see him make friends,” I was told.
And then came the zinger: “I know the adjustment to group things is hard as a homeschooler.”
Ten or so possible responses floated through my brain, but I went for the smile-nod-ignore tactic.
It’s what happened next that doesn’t line up.
Twenty minutes later, a girl in the group was asked for a response to a question—nothing terribly difficult. Her eyes got huge, she stared at the floor, and I seriously thought she was going to cry.
The crazy thing was the difference in how the adults and other kids responded to her actions.
There were no cries of where she went to school or who was teaching her to do algebra or recite the preamble of the Constitution.
Instead, I heard:
- “she’s just overwhelmed”
- “back off, you guys”
- “stop hounding her”
- “she doesn’t want to answer right now”
- “leave her alone.”
As I was told later, her inability to participate in the group discussion had nothing to do with where she went to school and everything to do with her personality.
There are very few things that make me want to flip tables, but this is one of them: when two kids do the exact same thing and you blame homeschooling for one kid’s actions and personality for the other.